40 Days and Temptation

153 DAYS RAW
240 lbs








I did not mean to fast from this blog for Lent. But we are headed towards Palm Sunday and I have not posted.

My Lenten Fast from shopping has been successful except in one area. I broke it pretty early on and have struggled with it almost daily... eating out. It is here in black and white on the blog "including eating out" but I have rationalized why that was the one thing that did not count.

I read in Lauren Winner's Voice of Matthew this week about the 40 days Christ spent in the desert... about his temptations and posed the question to friends "have you ever thought about why those three?". Bread was just the first one.. and I failed that one right away. And though I managed to maintain no shopping... It feels silly. I managed to not buy anything I did not need. Is that really giving anything up? Guilt finds it's root and once it is there that is how Satan really works his way in.

Another Lenten practice I have had is a mid week communion. It follows my staff meeting so it is nothing but convenient. The bread and wine there for the taking, forgiveness a little more regularly to make up for the fact that I am a little more conscious of my sinful nature... my need for forgiveness. My weakness in saying no to temptation. My strength in him.

And this seems to be the point. So maybe it is not a coincidence that I have struggled so much over Lent with my Raw Foods lifestyle. That I have cheated and failed. Maybe it is no coincidence that as I am closer and closer to his death and resurrection, I find myself able to tackle the no eating out and renew my commitment to raw foods.

And as I think it through tonight while laying still to get my daughter to sleep.. I find myself with thoughts of my mother... sadness... grief. I am giving blood to a friends father who is struggling with cancer tomorrow. This brought some of it. But why so much sadness? Then I realize... I am nearing my mom's d day. Oh!

And with this date approaching I have to commit to myself to get off the 9 lbs that hold me from being under 200 lbs. I have to commit to myself to post on this blog daily. I have to commit to myself that I will post menus, and seek accountability. I will challenge the comfort zone I have fallen into, the excuses I have made. Accept my weakness and ask for Christ's help in conquering sin and death in this very visible way... the visible way that is around my mid section. ;)