Ash Wednesday

Day 118RAW

Ash Wednesday

Fast is Feast
JoAnn Staebler
In the deep stillness of prayer my soul
fasts. Fasting, at its heart, is turning away from what keeps me from God. Two
things I must leave: the walls I build around the space that was made to be
God's dwelling; the absurdities I keep in that space, so jealously hoarded.
Taking down the wall that protects the false self I have been building, all
these years ... risking exposure, emptiness, loneliness.The fast is silence,
ocean-deep and prolonged. Shard by shard, the wall begins to fall. Inch by inch,
the space clears, and Love lights the shadows.... In letting go is abundance. In
emptying I am filled. This is not denial, but freedom. Fast is feast.
Source:
Alive Now!

This is one of the best bits of writing I have seen on this kind of freedom through denial. The beautiful bounty in letting go. One of the few times I have taken a differing opinion from my pastor on something was last week... when praying over our Lenten plans... he was talking about choosing fruits and vegetables over the bounty of meat, he used the word bounty... Like saying we were choosing less over the bounty we could have. But I have discovered so much more bounty in eating what is simply intended. I have been so overwhelmed by God's generous nature in the foods that surround us. It is actually amazing if you consider what our creator had planned for us. And we have only destroyed it, lost it's beauty... taken it for granted. OH I just hit a nerve, a confession I need to have. We think we know better. We think the simple bounty He has for us is not enough and we look to improve it and add to it.. only to our own detriment.

The message last week actually amazing in that he went into this idea from scripture (I will post a link to the message when it is available) that as men entered the presence of God they glowed, that it would literally change their presence. their energy in visible ways. I have just barely tasted this. And it made me start to wonder... as you get physically cleaned out, you seem to get spiritually cleaned out and more receptive to His spirit. It made me wonder if I will get closer to God's presence the more cleaned out I get spiritually. Will I ever face God in all his glory in a way that would visibly change me? Will I come close to this? Closer, is even good with me. Closer is closer. I love the idea that eating what He has intended for us brings us closer to His presence. Makes you want to keep going another day and see what happens doesn't it? Makes me want to go 118 days raw. Gives you a different perspective on getting that "raw foods glow".

MY LENTEN PLANS

My plans have little to do with food. Although I will keep going so that I can get the full spiritual harvest of the season. I did not want to make my fast about food because I did not want to muddy the successes I have already had. Also, I had felt called for a whiled to do a different kind of fast. A fast from shopping.. a shopping "sabbatical". So tonight it starts. I am allowing one weekly grocery trip, and one trip to the co-op. But other than that and the purchasing I do for Ecclesia (job), I will not shop. And I will not eat out. Which will help me on the raw food path. I have not decided whether to do something specific with the money. But, when I prayed about it... It seemed like it wasn't about giving as much as not squandering. So I am excited to see where this takes us. Will God be as good in this area as He has been with the other areas we have sacrificed? I know the answer. He is faithful. At this point I am excited to see what He has planned for us!

ASTRID's LENTEN POEM

Astrid asked me to write something for her tonight during service.

The gallery unveiled a new show for Lent around the stations of the cross. One of the stations is a small red room sewn out of red dresses with red cords inside and a heart beating... Astrid was drawn to it and so was I. So she wrote this and wanted to place the poem inside the room. I told her we couldn't but maybe we could mail the artist.

In the red room
I will love Jesus
And I will also
Make my own
And all my friends
And all my family
They will be loved
By Jesus too.

Astrid

She also signed it with a heart in place of the 'R' in her name and the 'T' in aqua as a cross. She placed another aqua cross under the 'A' and one inside the 'D'. Three crosses, one heart. Does she get the powerful imagery? I don't know. But amazingly beautiful. Even just in it's simplicity, powerfully moving. As she asked me to write it, I was about to cry. She is pretty incredible.

PS I think she meant she will make her own red room... which made me wonder... am I going to walk into her room in a few days with every red piece of clothing she owns in shreds and draped? We will see.