25 days Raw
257 lbs









I am actually writing this the day after... But, just to keep us all up to date :)

YESTERDAY WAS A BREAKTHROUGH DAY
Here is what every breakthrough day in my life has consisted of - think of it as a recipe..

• Something challenging
• A cry for help
• An answer from God
• Help from a friend
• Laughter
• Tears
• Pressing on
• Mindshift
• And REVELATION!

Yesterday had all of these in one day.. but sometimes it takes a while to get there. I guess as long as we want it to take before we listen.

So here is the day:

Woke up with the most painful menstrual cramps I have had in YEARS! I have not had these since before Astrid and really before my early 20's. I actually forgot what it was like to be unable to function, because of the pain!

I instantly took a hot hot bath. Because that helps so much... and it did. It helped long enough for me to get Astrid off to school and make her lunch, etc... But soon there after, they got worse. I went for a brisk walk. Beautiful weather, the kind you want to walk briskly in. The walking helped, as long as I moved I was OK! But as soon as I was at all stagnate... They started getting even worse. I literally had tears in my eyes and was emailing for help from friends. I did not want to take anything because my body was so cleaned out. I do not have anything in the house like Aleeve or anything I used to take... I probably would have taken it, if I had it. And worse yet, I did not have a car... And Vyk was running errands and would not be home for hours. I called the health food store for some cramp bark and had Vyk pick it up. In talking with him... He made me laugh, which helped :). Then, I paced in the house.. moving relieved the pain. I remembered a heating pad helped... But I had to stay too still to use it. My friend Kelly called, and she read me this great paragraph from the sunfood success system... saying PMS and your period were a natural state of detox... which I had already begun to figure out. She told me that eventually I would probably have no menstrual pain. AND,she made me laugh.. Which really helped!

I ate nothing... I drank only water... and by the time Vyk got home they were almost gone. I had gone on another walk which seemed to end most of it. I went ahead and took the cramp bark, but it was pretty much over.
I had nausea and headache. The cramps were in my back and lower stomach area. Whew! My period has been unusual and I am sure it was part of detox. Think about the entire month I have been cleansing and that area has been storing... So, I am in real hope that next month will be better... And if what Kelly says is true I might have wasted the money on the cramp bark. I will keep this subject updated on my blog because I think it will be interesting to see the progression of how this diet effects PMS.

OK so about the time it is getting better... I start trying to get myself pumped up because I am wondering all kinds of things about the health of this kind of eating. Reservations surface, I am tested. What is funny is this whole time I am not eating anything because of pain, no hypoglycemia. I can feel a little hunger, but miraculously, no lows in blood sugar. So I check out a website and listen to Juliano (author of RAW- the uncook book) speaking. He is funny, more laughter. And he is making sense and he is really pretty down to earth about the preparations, which is comforting. And he is doing this bit with a butcher knife and saying "Guess who I am .. 'What's wrong? yeah I can fix it!'". Yeah a surgeon. So funny...

I click on another link and see this video, please watch it

http://www.rawfoodhowto.com/video-reversing-diabetes-naturally.cfm

Breakthrough ONE

And I start to cry... Tears of joy for the women testing her blood sugar and finding normal readings... Tears of amazement that I have found the answer... That I will never have to take insulin. That I will never have to suffer with diabetes. Tears of joy that God is so good to have lead me here. Tears of joy for the friends who helped... And how fitting it comes the week after my moms birthday! What a great gift to her and memoriam for her. She would much rather have this, I know, than flowers on her grave. She is not there, after all! She would be so happy for me. And proud of me. She is probably rejoicing now!

Breakthrough TWO

Then, while I am driving I have a second big breakthrough thought...

If all that stuff I have been believing about myself and saying about myself were lies. If this is how I am designed to function and this is who God says I am... Who is that?

What isn't a lie... What is truth?

I am beautiful. I am as beautiful as Astrid, who is beautiful! I will post a pic of her.. She is as beautiful as any daughter is to her mother and that is beyond beautiful. That is who I am. I am beautiful. I am energetic, I am thoughtful, I am kind, I am brilliant, I am empathetic, I am healthy, I am strong, I am strong willed, I am resilient, I am loved, I am loving... I am not that girl who has a pretty face and has to make sure she dresses cute so everyone can see that inner beauty... I am not the girl who does not care what she looks like (but really does)... I am not the girl who's husband married me despite my size... because he saw the real me... I am not just inwardly beautiful... I am beautiful from the inside out. I am beautiful because my creator is beautiful and I have His DNA! I am beautiful because I am beautifully and wonderfully made. God does not love me despite my flaws, He loves me because I am beautiful.. He sees me how I was designed to be. Beautiful. DO YOU GET WHAT I AM SAYING HERE? :) Are you on the ground yet singing and praising and shouting "GOD IS GOOD" yet?

And I lost another 5 lbs. To me this period has really been a breakthrough spiritually, mentally, and physically. I think my body is able to let go of some weight and mentally I had a shift and spiritually well... I think that is clear. I am now posting my weight, because however embarrassing it is to have it in BOLD on a blog for people to read. It is important not only to face but also to keep track of the amazing changes that are ahead of me. I will go back and post my start weight and at 5 lbs, etc... But I have now lost 15 lbs!