New Year

Pregnancy
Week 28

Glorious Destiny
Thomas Merton

It is a glorious destiny to be a member of the human race, though it is a race dedicated to many absurdities and one which makes many terrible mistakes: yet, with all that, God himself gloried in becoming a member of the human race. A member of the human race! To think that such a commonplace realization should suddenly seem like news that one holds the winning ticket in a cosmic sweepstake. I have the immense joy of being a member of a race in which God became incarnate. As if the sorrows and stupidities of the human condition could overwhelm me, now I realize what we all are. And if only everybody could realize this! But it cannot be explained. There is no way of telling people that they are all walking around shining like the sun.

Source: Conjectures of a Guilty Bystander



New Years Life Line Up
As New Years' countdown is in a little over 12 hours... my midwife appointment where I head into the last trimester is a few hours away... and Christmas has come to bring light. It all feels very encouraging and empowering. Like everything has lined up as it should and God in all of his divine harmony and rhythm is humming with my body, my heart, and my soul.

Entering the 3rd Trimester
I am looking at the last trimester optimistically. But, at the same time... I find myself really gearing up to get some things done.
My trip to Dallas with my dad and Astrid was one of the best I have taken with my dad in my life. I am so happy to have had this time with him. He has been diagnosed with Parkinsons and whatever that will end up meaning to him.... it seems to have mellowed him for now. It is refreshing to see people in their lives start to wind down. Esp someone that has lead a pretty wound up life. If only we could learn to unwind a little earlier in life and enjoy things the way we do as we age.

Checking In
During the weeks leading up to Christmas... with rushing and planning and focusing on others and going to parties, etc. I felt VERY tired. My body made it very clear that I had to pace myself. There was really no argument. And I slept a whole lot. I started to really worry about my blood sugar as it was up and down and after meals I was so lathargic. The food I was eating was WAY less than ideal. I was on the go... no plan for caring for me and no plan for food. Which is a dangerous place for me to be. Sure enough, with holiday treats around me... I gave in too much and could feel my blood sugar returning to it's pre raw food state. I found myself hungry very frequently.. craving big cooked meals and waking up at night with low blood sugar. The processed cravings returning.

LAST WEEK
Realistically... I knew Christmas week with a trip planned to Dallas... I would not be eating ideally... so I opted for a non ideal compromise... that would hopefully put my blood sugar in a less dangerous place. I had green smoothies every morning. I also was really good about taking my green life which my midwife gave me. These 2 things made a world of difference. I ate as vegan as possible and as unprocessed as possible while eating in Dallas... at my cousins house and at restaurants. I had some cheese and I am sure some dairy in some of my cousins left overs. But, pretty quickly.. things have taken a turn for the better. I defiantly have more energy and was not feeling like I was about to crash and burn.

NO MORE COPING MODE
I would rather not live in this coping mode though... so as the new year is here... I am headed off to the grocery store. I have worked on a meal plan for both Astrid and I... I was not the only one headed for crash and burn mode. And the plan is way higher raw than I have eaten during the pregnancy. I have this last trimester to be as healthy as possible... so now is the time.

I will try to post more often... I know it keeps me accountable to myself and that is the main goal of this blog. So... wish me luck.

NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS
I was sent this great new years planning tool from "The Raw Divas". It is kind of a reflection and retelling of the last year and hopes and dreams for the new year kind of thing. I plan on spending some time tomorrow working through it.
I have been given a whole week with both Vyk and Astrid. What a Christmas Gift. I can not wait to do nothing with them. I am purposefully being careful not to plan much of anything for New Years week. It is our time, and I might be a bit possessive about it.

Christmas has come

Christmas Has Come

Well, settle in for a Christmas recap.
I managed to keep my sanity and get everything that I needed to get done... done. I also left what did not need to be done, undone. Which is where the sanity came in.

We had a beautiful Christmas Eve service. I love this service, because it is more intimate. I had a hard time relaxing and enjoying my family for a little running around pre service. My dad and James came and Just being all together made me happy. We went back to the house for a simple spelt pasta with raw pesto and pine nut dish. I served italian bread and had a piece of it too. Astrid and Vyk made some cookies for Santa and I made a Chai Latte with Almond Milk & Agave to warm us up. We opened one gift each.

Christmas Day
I woke up to an alarm clock since James had to leave for work and did not want to miss Christmas Morning. Santa had come and brought Heelys and a sewing machine and sewing kit for Astrid. Whirlwind gift opening followed. I ended up still feeling like we had too much. But we were closer to a rational amount of gift giving. James had his first Christmas with a real job and money to spend so he spoiled all of us. Giving Astrid a microphone and a Hanna Montana CD ;). I got a beautiful Lantern from him and a gift card. Really sweet seeing him give to his family. This was one of the brightest parts of this Christmas for me, seeing James become a man. He was so sad about working... he has been working at IHOP and so we suprised him with a visit to get breakfast. This is not an easy place for me to eat.... but since some dairy has been in my diet with the baby... it made it a little easier. The rest of the day I lazily made dinner... and enjoyed being with my family. The day was a beautiful, open the doors up and enjoy the weather kind of day. Just cold enough to feel enough like Christmas.

Christmas Dinner
Since James got off late, we waited to have Christmas Dinner with him. He arrived just as the Cornish Hens I made for the guys were ready. Astrid very rarely sees me making meat... so this kind of freaked her out. She did not want to eat it after seeing it... she said "that looks like a little baby... eww!" Ha! I had a very cooked but vegan meal for Christmas. Mashed Potatoes and Green Beans with almonds. I also made a wild rice/ tabouli dish which was good.

Relief
I have to say. I had a big feeling of relief as Christmas Day came to a close. It is the real since that I am coming into the light of Christmas now. The days of advent and waiting and anticipation are over, the light has come. And being pregnant this feeling is very hightened. Astrid was born just after the new year... so maybe I am reliving that sense. But, I actually seem to feel it much stronger this time. I feel like I am able to focus on some of the things I have not had time to focus on. Like me... and getting everything ready for the baby. Astrid's Birthday is January 15th, so that will be a small pull. For my job the focus will shift to preparing for my leave. It is all too close to ignore, and as my belly grows others are finally catching on the the inevitable reality with me. I have basically 2 months to get it all together. So, I find myself really happy to have Christmas over. I also am so excited and energized by all of this. As I am entering the third trimester and feel a little like slowing down, it is nice to have this boost of emotional energy. Plus the extra boost of it being the new year with resolutions, etc.

Slowing Down while everyone else is Speeding Up

Pregnant Week 23ish

Being Busy

Henri Nouwen

Empty space tends to create fear. As long as our minds, hearts and hands are occupied we can avoid confronting the painful questions, to which we never gave much attention and which we do not want to surface. "Being busy" has become a status symbol, and most people keep encouraging each other to keep their body and mind in constant motion. Occupation and not empty space is what most of us are looking for. When we are not occupied we become restless. We even become fearful when we do not know what we will do the next hour, the next day or the next year. Then occupation is called a blessing and emptiness a curse.

Many telephone conversations start with the words: "I know you are busy, but..." and we would confuse the speaker and even harm our reputation were we to say, "Oh no, I am completely free, today, tomorrow and the whole week." Our client might well lose interest in one who has so little to do.

Source: Reaching Out

Sickness as a tool
Astrid has been sick. I actually have a theory about being sick at this time of year. Everyone goes at lightning speed and sickness can be God's way of a forced slow down. Now, I do not mean that people really suffering have done anything wrong. I am just talking about the kind of sickness that creeps in when you are not taking the time to sleep and eat in the way your body needs. Just the bugs and viruses that those of us who know raw foods and lots of centered living prevents. And when we are a little off path, we can take the small sicknesses that creep in to slow us down and re center us or we can keep going going going and run ourselves into the ground. I tend to want to the do the first. And when Astrid is sick, it is kind of a blessing.. even though I HATE to see her sick. It is a special time between mother and daughter where we tend to be super attached and we tend to spend a lot of quality nurturing time with each other. Everything else is less important. And she is center and for some reason... as I care for her... I nurture myself in the process.

This morning is a good example. After I gave her a steam treatment to hopefully get the last of the uuck out of her system, she wanted to do yoga. So we spent time doing a "centering yoga" podcast. Then I had plenty of time to make her a super healthy breakfast of cooked oat groats with lots of raw apples, coconut, nuts, goji berries and a sprinkle of cacao nibs. Lots of antioxidants. I really wish we had (or I took) the time to care for her and myself like this more often. I hate to say how little that is our routine. Because getting to school on time and me getting work or house stuff done is always a rush rush thing. I always say... well, I do better than most people. But better is not good enough... not when everyone else is living at an insane pace. And the truth is I just do not do well at that pace.

Christmas Non-Rush
Christmas shopping has actually been a real joy this year. First of all... I am being very intentional about what I want and when I shop (mostly on line) it is just checking off the list... looking for specific things. Money is super under control for Vyk and I this year. Which is actually a little unexpected. We had a bit of a financial crisis about a month or so ago. But, now that crisis has lead to us staying very much on task with our financial plans. And able to get caught up with our finances for the first time in a year.

We have been using Dave Ramsey's system. Cash envelopes, no credit, budgets and if you do not have the money... you do not buy it. This is super freeing from the world of guilt that I always felt as we entered the holidays. And guilt based giving is not any way to give.

Giving this year
At Ecclesia we are doing a project called Advent Conspiracy. And it is beautiful. We are giving mostly to the same organization we gave to last year. Living Water. I will link the Living Water video to this blog so you can see what it is all about (although most people who read this know all about it). But, working on a few projects for living water. Planning a Fair Trade shopping night, and working with the kids to make water bottles for everyone to give to family to let them know what that they love them but want to be careful about what they consume in the spirit of Christmas. It is truly a beautiful way to spend my time. And I did a better job this year of leading and not doing it all myself. A gift God has been teaching me.... does not come naturally. But, He has led me to this way of leading and getting more done without strain on myself and my family. It is all just beautiful. And even though, I do not feel the need to have the holiday decorations up... and I do not feel super Christmas inspired yet (esp with Houston weather)... I feel like the spirit of Christmas is overtaking me in a true, real, and unexpected way. The stress of the season has not overtaken me, but the love and amazing beauty of it is coming as darkness comes. The rhythm of the season is leading me... instead of me leading it. I am following... waiting to see... what is coming... what will be born?

God is so good to me. And financially, I feel He has been waiting to bring us into a new and obedient place. I feel like as we listen... other areas shift into the same rhythm.
So, faithfully serving, giving, and loving just brings the results of health and well being.