Day 37
Raw











Well, emotional setback number one... not for my life, just for this particular journey. OR IS IT an emotional set back? ...



Sunday I had a pretty traumatic family day. Ending in a lot of hurt for my family and I to deal with. It has taken me this many days to post out of grief and really just the need to focus on the situation and the emotional upheaval. However, I have managed to stay pretty raw through all of this... letter to friends...


Incredibly, and really as a very very good sign that I have have undergone some major change... I am still eating RAW foods... most days like 80% still! I think I may have even lost some more weight. That is just amazing.

Ladies, this is really incredible... How easy would it have been to just use the
stress as an excuse to eat?
There were a couple times where I just felt like
eating junk...because I felt like I needed comfort, ya know? But I would ask my
self what would be more comfort, a green smoothie that would give me energy and
mental clarity when I needed it most or food that would drop me and leave me
lower than before emotionally and physically.
After the dust settled and the
whirlwind of emotions started to ease... I was left with an overwhelming
stubbornness to not loose any ground. I have come to far, I have learned to
much, I am not the same person, I am not giving up or giving in, I am not
hibernating... And the main difference is my strength is in God... so it can
withstand the attacks from the enemy on my family! Gosh, this is just not like
me... it is me only in and through God. My old patterns, on my own strength
would have been too hard to fall back into. I have resolved to stay the coarse
(did I just say that, OK no Iraq war reference) and the raw food is just a sign
of that change. What is beautiful is I was able to talk to my husband and really
get through to him without making him feel worse about himself, but not excusing
his actions either. To not let my own emotions and anger cloud what I needed to
say or make me use painful or guilt tactics. I am so proud of myself, in the
middle of all of this chaos... God just held me here and I do not feel like I
have lost any ground in my emotional healing and spiritual growth.

... This pretty much brings us up to date. I am hanging in there. I actually as of today, am feeling this weird sensation that God has even orchestrated these events... Which sounds strange to say. And that maybe even the raw foods either were a catalyst or this was given to me to help me heal really deeply. I know it sounds kind of crazy, but it is true. Think about it... Either 1.) The raw foods is bringing healing to the surface, and in that healing God is going in deep and pulling out and up the deep roots that would have stayed there if not for crisis. OR 2.) God gave me the raw foods (which is really just a sign of spiritual and emotional healing in me- oh and physical) when I would need them so that He could pull up and out the deep roots and heal me. Really, heal my entire family!

Week 5, still 80 % Raw
And I actually lost a lb in the crisis and over Thanksgiving. Miraculous!

Day 32
RAW




Day after Thanksgiving

This has been a very low key laid back day... Date with my husband, we went to see Borat for his B DAY gift and it made him so happy! He laughed so hard he snorted in the theatre, and that made me laugh!

We also put training wheels on an old Schwinn we bought about a year ago for Astrid at a garage sale. It is such a great bike, the kind with a banana seat... blue and pink. She was not big enough for it when we bought it. But, now it is still big... but not too big for a big girl!

So around she went after she helped me clean it up... Very exciting. I have an old schwinn too with a basket up front... It is the next on the list to be fixed and I picture mother daughter bike rides with my new boundless energy. Pretty exciting. My daughter is a firecracker, she always has amazed me with her lack of fear and constant energy. She loves being outside and she loves being very active. I can not wait to feel like I am better able to keep up with her, instead of always sending Vyk or James to do the active stuff with her. Don't get me wrong, we have our things we love to do together... they are just mostly inside and I will be happy to share more with her as she gets older that is outside and active.

National Buy Nothing Day
Today, I bought nothing.
I also took the time to think and talk to Vyk about what we want to do this Christmas. As far as gift giving and stressing over money and the rush and hectic pace. We talked over giving cards that are handmade and special (maybe a book) and in it say that money has been donated to blood water mission on their behalf this holiday season. As far as family goes... Either make or buy free trade/ responsibly or services and keep the price tag low... Like $25 for vyk's and I, higher for Astrid and James, $25 for my dad and vyk's mom... Everyone else (all of those people that you give the little gifts and do not know if they like it or not. A candle for Vyk's aunt... etc)... those are the people you give the card/ book to. I do not know, we have not decided for sure. But that is the idea. What gets hard too is feeling like everyone needs new clothes and decorations and even if you decide to make gifts it gets expensive... Vyk and I have talked over giving a decent amount to the blood water mission thing... The only way we can do this (because we are on a tight budget) is by scaling way back. Which we have done for years now... But scaling way back... Creative ideas I am not short of, so we will see. I am so happy with my simplified Thanksgiving, I have no doubt that Christmas will be bright.

Oh yeah, I am here to talk about raw foods.
Weighed this morning... no weight gain after Thanksgiving, in fact I might have lost a lb. But I will wait to officially announce it. I ate very raw today... all but a scoop of mashed potatoes... (I said they were good). I did make the raw pecan pie. I was tempted by my tradition after Thanksgiving of a turkey sandwich and mashed potatoes and a piece of pecan pie...

They turned out sooo good. And really did not disappoint the craving.
The great thing about the recipe is he uses the same crust in several other pie recipes with like fresh strawberries stirred with agave and in the pie shell. So really with this recipe you could knock off any pie... I do not usually have pie more than 2 times a year... but this might change now.
Esp because it took like 10 minutes and tasted so good!

Pecan Pie from RAWvolution
Crust
2 cups raw almonds (ground)
1/2 cup agave (I added a little more as I went)
Mix in a bowl and press into 5" pie tins

Filling
1/3 cup coconut water (OK I have not yet figured out the coconut water)
So I used pure water and a tablespoon of coconut oil :)
1/4 cup pecans
1/2 cup raisins (I used currants)
I also added a glob of agave because although they were sweet without it, it needed a touch more.
Blend until smooth (added a touch more water to make it move)
Add the filling to the pie tin and then top with more pecans.

YUM! Made 4 pies. This also made enough crust for me to make two strawberry pies.. He suggests taking any fruit and adding agave nectar to it for a filling. Astrid loved it! Trust me, you need to try this recipe. so easy!

Day 31
Raw







Thanksgiving
Day

Turning Thanksgiving Inside-out
Chris Brennan Homiak
America's Thanksgiving seems to be mostly about food, family, football, parades and shopping. And sometimes gratitude manages to make a brief appearance. Growing up, my day began with watching the parades with fancy floats and Broadway samplers, then flipping to the Detroit Lions game. Mid-afternoon, a turkey and/or ham would be ready, along with three or four big casseroles, fruit salad, rolls and pumpkin pie. Most years, before eating, we'd go around the table and share some things we were grateful for, then share a prayer. I'd stuff myself until 'tired-turkey syndrome' kicked in, and then I'd retire to the couch for a nap. When I got up, I'd eat some tasty leftovers. The day after Thanksgiving, we'd join the frenzied crowds at the mall to start off the Christmas shopping season. This year, I'm trying to look at Thanksgiving with new eyes...

So, how did I turn Thanksgiving Upside Down?
I managed to have pretty much the opposite effect of the above discription. I had a very simple non stressful (except for the mini panic session I had when I was cleaning... old habits die hard). The food prep was the easiest ever! I loved it! Simple ingredients, blend, chop, serve... Not having a TV helps, it actually helps a lot. The only pressure I have to think about Christmas and shopping is my daughter who is asking when is Christmas? When is Easter? She does this every holiday.. starts the count down to the next party and the next event. We go through the whole year like a story... well next is Advent and that leads us to Christmas, then it is new years, where we say "Happy New Year" and right after that is your birthday and then it is valentines day and then... through the whole year back to where we are. I love it!

The food... Well, you already know about the food. It still left me with a little tiredness (it was still more cooked food in one meal than I am used to now) but it was good and the family was happy and I enjoyed my family. I got to talk to my dad about my thyroid and blood sugar and he was amazed (and showed amazement, as much as my dad can, by saying "that is amazing"). Vyk's mom gave me a lot of complements and thought I looked great! Which is fun to hear!

What worked, what did not?
My favorite thing I tried this Thanksgiving, by far was the one I was actually the most suspicious of... I even added wild grain rice to the menu because I was certain this would be weird. The savory stuffing from my RAWvolution book. It was as good, if not better than the stuffing I normally make. The raw gravy was good, but not good.. I don't even like gravy usually, neither does Vyk... so really no big loss. It tasted more like the lighter colored gravy that has flour and is thick... That is the type I really do not like. BUT, I do not think anyone was the wiser about it being raw and vegan... I served it in the gravy boat with mushrooms on top and it looked and smelled and tasted like gravy! The other BIG hit from my completly raw appetiser table were the cheese sticks!!!!! They loved them... And ate every last one... The hummus ended up (once cold) tasting exactly like hummus. In fact this is the best hummus I have ever made and the closest to what you would buy at an authentic market.
If you put it on the table next to hummus with cooked chicpeas... no one would know.. I promise. My vegan mashed potatoes were sooooo good! (a little too good, this was my weakness and one I had seconds of) James found out about this one... He asked if he could help make them.. I am very proud of the recipe I created for these and James ended up happy (this is his favorite thanksgiving food, so it was important to make him happy)... The stuffed mushrooms ... the filling for them was so good (as I sampled while making) it would be so good on a mock pasta with a little extra olive oil... They were good once dehydrated... But next time I will dehydrate them less and serve them before they are kind of crispy... They also got really salty. I also made these great freezer cookies, which were so easy and so good and so great to be able to add whatever you have... they will become a regular around here.
I ended up not making the raw pecan pie because Vyk's mom called and said she had bought a pecan pie and a ham :) So, I was happy with my dessert being the balls.. I think I will make the pecan pies tomorrow, so that I am not tempted by the pecan pie. What is really funny is my cookies are ALL GONE the family goobled them down. The pecan pie has a tiny slice out of it... Yeah, raw foods that are good for you and good!

Recipes -best first
Savory Herb Stuffing**** (adapted from RAWvolution)
1 cup raw walnuts (ground in food processor or blender)
1 cup raw pumpkin seeds (ground)
1 cup raw sunflower seeds (ground)
1/3 cup yellow onion (chopped)
3/4 cup celery (diced)
1 cup chopped mushrooms (briefly marinated in 2 tbspns Nama Shoyu)
2 tbspns olive oil
1/4 teaspn sea salt
1/2 teaspn pepper
1&1/2 teaspns kelp
1&1/2 teaspns fresh sage
1&1/2 teaspns fresh thyme
I probably put way more fresh herbs than that... maybe he was calling for dried... I also added about one green onion.

MIX in bowl - did I mention this was good, I know it passed as non raw
(I heated it in the dehydrator)

Cheese Sticks**** - this sunflower cheese is just like the mac cheese.. so you could use that instead and then roll in the sunflower seeds.

4&3/4 raw sunflower seeds
1/2 cup lemon juice (about 2 large lemons)
1/2 cup Nama Shoyu
4 cloves of garlic

Grind 2 3/4 cups of sunflower seeds and spread them out on a plate.
Blend the rest of the ingredients together.
Transfer the mixture to a zip lock bag (he says pastry bag) and snip a hole in the corner. Squeeze out 3 and a half inch "sticks" onto the plate of ground up sunflower seeds and gently roll around.
CAREFULLY transfer onto dehydrator sheet adn dehydrate for 18-24 hours (I did 18 and they were perfect- they taste best a little gooey in the center) at 100 degrees.
He suggests serving them with his raw marinara but I did not... They ended up dipped in hummus which was good!

I added a little herbamare to my ground sunflowers, next time I think I will try some dried pepper or tomatoes to make it a little zesty.

Amazingly good Hummus**** (made enough to serve and some to save)
2 zuccini peeled (make sure you do this so your hummus is not green)
3/4 cup raw tahini
1/2 cup fresh lemon juice (2 large lemons)
1/4 cup olive oil
4 cloves garlic, peeled
2 1/2 teaspns sea salt
1/2 tablspn ground cumin

Blend until smooth
To fully convince any suspecting family or friends... I added a drizzle of olive oil to the top and sprinkled with paprika... LOOKs and tastes like you bought it from the mediteraninan market!
I served this with raw veggies... carrots, celery, green and red peppers.

Savoy truffles****and a half
2 cups raw almonds, ground
1/2 cup carob or cacao powder
1/3 tspn salt (optional)
1 cup shredded coconut
3/4 cup agave nectar
2 tbspns olive oil

Cinnamon Girls****
2 cups raw almonds, ground
1/3 cup cinammon
1/3 tespn sea salt (optional)
1 cup raisins (I used currants)
3/4 cup agave nectar
2 tbspns olive oil

For both types of cookies... combine and stir . use your hands to form them into small balls. You can eat as is or freeze (I recommend).

Soooo good, and you can see how you could use the basic recipe to create a lot of different types of cookies.

Kathy's Vegan Mashed Potatoes****
7 large potatoes (boiled with 4 cloves of garlic)
1-2 cups Veggie broth or mushroom broth (I used both)
1/4 cup Olive oil
Big handful of fresh rosemary
3-4 additional cloves garlic
sea salt and pepper to taste

Boil and strain potatoes and garlic and transfer to giant bowl.
Mix olive oil, extra garlic, and rosemary into blender. Blend until creamy, buttery texture is reached. Then transfer into bowl.
Add the broth a little at a time while mashing....Mix until smooth and lovely.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Day 30
Raw









Thanksgiving preparation
Today was a day to prepare for my best Thanksgiving of my 34 years. The Thanksgiving where I am understanding more of what Thanksgiving is about than any other time in my life. Suddenly the bounty the blessing and the abundance of his creation makes sense...
It always felt like gluttony and indulgence instead of celebrating all that God has made and done... I had never had a time of need so the celebration of the excess seemed...excessively self gratifying.

From Thanksgiving Lectionary Readings...
Joel 2:25-26

I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten
the great
locust and the young locust,
the other locusts and the locust
swarm
my great army that I sent
among you.

You will eat plenty
and be satisfied, and you will
praise the
name of the LORD your God, who has worked
wonders for
you; never again will my people
be shamed.

Suddenly this promise takes on a whole new meaning... The years of devastation and disease my body has lived with will be repaid and repaired.
I will eat and be satisfied and full! How beautiful is that!
I will have plenty to eat!
He has worked wonders for me! Praise His name! Can I get an amen?

Helpful hint of the day
Sweet tomato
I know this is a no brainer for a lot of you who have done this for a while.. But if it is new, like it is to me and you have to eat out and want to eat as raw as possible out... Sweet tomato is a pretty good choice. I ate a great salad and even though the basil vinaigrette dressing was a little more vinegar than basily... It was a good vegan choice. They usually have a vegan soup... but did not today, just vegetarian. I didn't do it because something I did yesterday gave me a pretty bad headache. I know this sounds crazy but if I had to guess I really think it was making my famous whole wheat pizza dough. I have been aware that I am sensitive to yeast and gluten... But this was the first time I did not even eat it, just made it and seemed to have a reaction. I think this sensitivity will go away with time. And maybe it is not what caused it.

Raw Pizza Cheat...
Speaking of the pizza. I had a pretty smart meal yesterday. I was the one who cooked for our small group, so I made whole wheat pizza and I bought a spelt/ cornmeal shell for me.... I had all raw ingredients including the sauce... green and red peppers, olives, onions, cilantro, marinated mushrooms... piled up. It was REALLY good and 2 pieces with a salad made a 50% meal where I prepared pizza for my friends but did not feel at all like I had missed out. Good raw cheat, huh? Vyk I think liked the raw pizza more than the cooked! He is really amazing me!

I am a raw foods convert.

Today on my way to Astrid's Thanksgiving feast... I stop to check the mail and...
Dr Martinez had a lovely letter for me
Thyroid > NORMAL
And below that a check on the phrase
Continue your current plan! HA HA HA HA!

So, here I am about 30 days in...
I have a normal thyroid function, I have stable blood sugar (don't need a test to tell me this amazing fact).
And I am 20 lbs lighter.
I have energy like I have not had since I was a kid and I am happy, and I am amazed... I have been reserving the right to add meat if I "have to" ... I thought, if this does not work I will add in organic meat and eat raw plus meat... No wheat, no gluten, that kind of thing...
So, as of right now...let's just say, it is working!
Can we say that? Can we say it is working? Yeah, I think we can!

Now for all of those who are saying in your head "I told you so" or "I could have told you that!" I can not even be mad at you. I am greatful.
THANKFUL! :) And GOD, whew! Will I be thanking God this Thanksgiving. He continues to floor me, His design is amazing. His wisdom is immeasurable. He thought of everything, down to the last detail. And to think I was convinced God created me to be a little heavier than the average person. To think I thought I needed to love myself the way God created me. I did, but this is His intention. His design for my body.
Whew, He is good!

So, was I at all worried when I served up my plate of corn on the cob... and took a giant portion of raw fruits and veggies. Apples and honey dew for dessert? When the one person who noticed asked? Was I worried. NO! I was happy and content and didn't even look twice at the dessert table or the other stuff. COME ON, would you? As I am reading my doctors report driving there? No! I told the lady I had lost 20 lbs and my thyroid and blood sugar fuctions were normal and that I was excited to be eating what I was eating. She said, yeah I have heard about this and heard amazing stuff on 90.1 and tell me more about it. She was already the person that I conneted the most with at the school, so now we are even more connected and now she will say, hey, how are you feeling? How is it going in the AM. And I will have even more support. Worried? Why should I be worried. I am blessed.

29 days RAW
4 weeks and 1 DAY!
220 lbs!

THAT IS 20 LBS people!
IN ONE MONTH! YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Let me catch up for the weekend.
I am just now figuring out what was going on with my body... As my last blog said, I continued to have very little appetite. I hardly wanted breakfast and I had to make myself have something... By lunch I was a little too hungry and nothing really sounded good. Saturday I ran around going to party after party... having a lot of fun with friends and enjoying my family. We did it very low key and low stress... BUT, since food was not appealing to me I did very little prep.. I did bring some nuts and a lara bar and that saved me... At party one, they had lots of raw option (thanks God for lovely healthy friends). At party 2 - late luch time I had 2 corn tortillas with lettuce and tomato and salsa... Snacks in between of nuts and the bar... Water all day... Pretty good for dinner I just wanted a green smoothie. Sunday, was so interesting... I hope to never have another Sunday like this one... It was stressful. I ended up (with my family, which makes it worse) being at the church from 8:30- about 7:30 maybe even 8... With just a walk around Montrose to get some fresh air in between it all. I brought a great Salad for lunch but not much else and by the time I got home I was so tired and so hungry I had to choose between the two and since I also had to get Astrid to bed... I choose sleep.

Which brings me to Monday... Woke up having not eaten anything since the day prior feeling weird and thirsty and hungry and I did have low blood sugar. First time in a while for this. BUT, still nothing sounded good. I was actually a little depressed and feeling just run down (GOSH I WONDER WHY) and I just lacked that umph and that energy I had been having. I finally grabbed the honeydew and late in the morning made a slush with honey dew and Satsuma which is my new favorite! This really hit the spot, and I drank a lot of it. By lunch I made a salad... But Vyk made Pizza and it just looked so good.. I ate a slice, I ate two slices and then I ate my salad. I would be lying if I said it did not taste good to me. But, it made my stomach upset all the way until today...

I ran the Operation Christmas Child shoe boxes the church had collected lat night (thinking it would be a very fast trip to a close church) with Astrid. When the 1st church was closed,and the second church had just closed up 10 minutes after I got there, I ended up having to drive to South Houston. This treck (in rush hour) took Astrid and I from 3 til about 7!!!! It ended up being worth it because the nice lady at the church took Astrid on a tour and Astrid was so excited and we will report back to the kids.. BUT, still! 4 hours of unprepared WAY past dinner drive!
Thankfully Astrid had some left overs from Lunch and I have this incredible even blood sugar! I would have had a headache and been so sick before. I was really fine and had another honey dew and orange slush when I got home.

This morning , I feel more like I am back on track... Honey dew slush again for breakfast. And upon reflection in the long hot bath this AM. I think that my body was wanting a fast. I think after all the toxins came up during my period my body wanted to focus on repairing and I did not recognize it and just kept not eating and then being too hungry. I also had little energy and just wanted to rest while I had to go go go...
Lesson learned. When I feel like that next I will start an official fast. ALTHOUGH... really I ended up doing pretty close to one for a few days there.

Right now I am off to Astrid's schools thanksgiving feast. My plan is to say "no thank you" a lot. And eat the fresh corn I am making now and maybe some mashed potatoes and that is it. I do not know these people very well, so it is kind of hard for me. I will have to just not worry. It is actually silly to worry. I was talking with Kelly just now and I realized at the rate I am loosing weight I am going to have people pretty soon begging me to tell them what I am doing. It will take a little of the embarrassment away won't it. To be half the size I was :) HA HA!

26 days
Raw





Today was good. I have had very little appetite. I think my body has been trying to focus on getting this last bit of toxins out with my period. I have been wanting a lot of lemon water. And I ate a banana about mid morning, then a cucumber salad for lunch.. I was craving cucumbers.
I went grocery shopping and although I will have to go one more time before Thanksgiving I have made out my menu and have all my recipes which I will share. The plan, after consulting my husband is to have as many raw dishes as possible without upsetting the troops. It is quite possible some in my family will not know that dishes are raw... I stuck with the traditional favorites and added raw around that ...


Thanksgiving preparations
Picture a bounty of raw, vibrant, live foods.. One that you can indulge in and feel no guilt. One that you can enjoy and then have more energy after eating, instead of lethargy. That is my goal. The idea of a cornucopia of raw foods. Thanksgiving for the bounty that God has given us. Celebrating the food that he created to sustain us and give us life more abundantly.

Menu
Appetizer (as raw as possible- this one is easy)

• Raw Hummus (RAWvolution) served with carrots, celery, green and red peppers, and either flax seed chips or flax dehydrated crackers
• Grapes, other fruit, dehydrated fruits, and nuts
• Cheese sticks with Marinara sauce (RAWvolution)

Drinks

• Water with Lemon
• Fresh apple juice with cider spices
• Fresh pot of Red bush Chai tea
• Soda- we will most likely have soda for Vyk and his mom
• Wine- my dad is bringing a bottle of wine
• Lager- I bought some organic Lager for Vyk to try

Main Meal

• Turkey- free range organic prepared with sage, rosemary, chicken broth, wine, etc.
• Wild grain Rice w/ fresh herbs
• Savory stuffing (RAWvolution)- I am providing both in case the stuffing is a bust.
• Mashed Potatoes- vegan but cooked... My plan is to use veggie broth, but I do not have a recipe so I will wing it. If anyone has a recipe, email me.
• Stuffed Mushrooms (RAWvolution)
• Green Beans with lemon, dill, and pine nuts
• BIG Arugula salad with squash and pomegranate seeds (recipe adapted from Delicious Living magazine- free magazine they give away at Whole Foods and Health food stores)
• Fresh cranberries

Dessert

• Pecan Pie (RAWvolution)
• Pumpkin Pie (whole foods made)
• Truffle Balls (RAWvolution)

THE PLAN

I am going to try to snack on the appetizer as I prepare the rest of the food (breakfast). My dad is preparing the turkey because I do not have an oven (how very rawfoodist of me :)- For the main meal, my plan is to lead with the salad, then mushrooms and stuffing, have a small serving (because by now I will be overeating) of mashed potatoes and a taste of the green beans. I will wait to eat my raw desserts until my stomach is fully ready.. Maybe after cleaning up and a walk... that is a great idea! While everyone else is plopped out on the sofas I will have enough energy to walk! :) My idea is making the traditional thanksgiving meal spread out from breakfast to dinner... so it will not be as much of an overeating fest!

Anyway, that is the plan and I will follow up with letting you know the best of the best recipes, what worked and what did not! If I do this... I will be at about what 80-90% raw! Pretty good huh! :) I am excited about this meal. I will have more than enough, I will have indulged!

25 days Raw
257 lbs









I am actually writing this the day after... But, just to keep us all up to date :)

YESTERDAY WAS A BREAKTHROUGH DAY
Here is what every breakthrough day in my life has consisted of - think of it as a recipe..

• Something challenging
• A cry for help
• An answer from God
• Help from a friend
• Laughter
• Tears
• Pressing on
• Mindshift
• And REVELATION!

Yesterday had all of these in one day.. but sometimes it takes a while to get there. I guess as long as we want it to take before we listen.

So here is the day:

Woke up with the most painful menstrual cramps I have had in YEARS! I have not had these since before Astrid and really before my early 20's. I actually forgot what it was like to be unable to function, because of the pain!

I instantly took a hot hot bath. Because that helps so much... and it did. It helped long enough for me to get Astrid off to school and make her lunch, etc... But soon there after, they got worse. I went for a brisk walk. Beautiful weather, the kind you want to walk briskly in. The walking helped, as long as I moved I was OK! But as soon as I was at all stagnate... They started getting even worse. I literally had tears in my eyes and was emailing for help from friends. I did not want to take anything because my body was so cleaned out. I do not have anything in the house like Aleeve or anything I used to take... I probably would have taken it, if I had it. And worse yet, I did not have a car... And Vyk was running errands and would not be home for hours. I called the health food store for some cramp bark and had Vyk pick it up. In talking with him... He made me laugh, which helped :). Then, I paced in the house.. moving relieved the pain. I remembered a heating pad helped... But I had to stay too still to use it. My friend Kelly called, and she read me this great paragraph from the sunfood success system... saying PMS and your period were a natural state of detox... which I had already begun to figure out. She told me that eventually I would probably have no menstrual pain. AND,she made me laugh.. Which really helped!

I ate nothing... I drank only water... and by the time Vyk got home they were almost gone. I had gone on another walk which seemed to end most of it. I went ahead and took the cramp bark, but it was pretty much over.
I had nausea and headache. The cramps were in my back and lower stomach area. Whew! My period has been unusual and I am sure it was part of detox. Think about the entire month I have been cleansing and that area has been storing... So, I am in real hope that next month will be better... And if what Kelly says is true I might have wasted the money on the cramp bark. I will keep this subject updated on my blog because I think it will be interesting to see the progression of how this diet effects PMS.

OK so about the time it is getting better... I start trying to get myself pumped up because I am wondering all kinds of things about the health of this kind of eating. Reservations surface, I am tested. What is funny is this whole time I am not eating anything because of pain, no hypoglycemia. I can feel a little hunger, but miraculously, no lows in blood sugar. So I check out a website and listen to Juliano (author of RAW- the uncook book) speaking. He is funny, more laughter. And he is making sense and he is really pretty down to earth about the preparations, which is comforting. And he is doing this bit with a butcher knife and saying "Guess who I am .. 'What's wrong? yeah I can fix it!'". Yeah a surgeon. So funny...

I click on another link and see this video, please watch it

http://www.rawfoodhowto.com/video-reversing-diabetes-naturally.cfm

Breakthrough ONE

And I start to cry... Tears of joy for the women testing her blood sugar and finding normal readings... Tears of amazement that I have found the answer... That I will never have to take insulin. That I will never have to suffer with diabetes. Tears of joy that God is so good to have lead me here. Tears of joy for the friends who helped... And how fitting it comes the week after my moms birthday! What a great gift to her and memoriam for her. She would much rather have this, I know, than flowers on her grave. She is not there, after all! She would be so happy for me. And proud of me. She is probably rejoicing now!

Breakthrough TWO

Then, while I am driving I have a second big breakthrough thought...

If all that stuff I have been believing about myself and saying about myself were lies. If this is how I am designed to function and this is who God says I am... Who is that?

What isn't a lie... What is truth?

I am beautiful. I am as beautiful as Astrid, who is beautiful! I will post a pic of her.. She is as beautiful as any daughter is to her mother and that is beyond beautiful. That is who I am. I am beautiful. I am energetic, I am thoughtful, I am kind, I am brilliant, I am empathetic, I am healthy, I am strong, I am strong willed, I am resilient, I am loved, I am loving... I am not that girl who has a pretty face and has to make sure she dresses cute so everyone can see that inner beauty... I am not the girl who does not care what she looks like (but really does)... I am not the girl who's husband married me despite my size... because he saw the real me... I am not just inwardly beautiful... I am beautiful from the inside out. I am beautiful because my creator is beautiful and I have His DNA! I am beautiful because I am beautifully and wonderfully made. God does not love me despite my flaws, He loves me because I am beautiful.. He sees me how I was designed to be. Beautiful. DO YOU GET WHAT I AM SAYING HERE? :) Are you on the ground yet singing and praising and shouting "GOD IS GOOD" yet?

And I lost another 5 lbs. To me this period has really been a breakthrough spiritually, mentally, and physically. I think my body is able to let go of some weight and mentally I had a shift and spiritually well... I think that is clear. I am now posting my weight, because however embarrassing it is to have it in BOLD on a blog for people to read. It is important not only to face but also to keep track of the amazing changes that are ahead of me. I will go back and post my start weight and at 5 lbs, etc... But I have now lost 15 lbs!

Day 24
Raw

262 lbs








Great Day! My energy is back up after at least a 80% raw day! And a lot of spinach and other greens.

Good news and bad news... What would you like first the good or the bad?
Bad? OK
The bad news is I weighed myself this morning which broke my fast from the scale! Gosh that is a hard fast!
The good news is, even thought I started my period finally, I weighed in at a 10 lb weight loss! Now, this does not count until next Monday when I officially weigh in.. BUT, yoooo hooooo!

Body
My period is weird and I would be lying if I did not say it scares me a little. It is just weird, lighter than normal and weird... did I say weird? If anyone knows why or if this is how it will always be.. email me privately so we can discuss this personal issue. Crazy random worry is that I will not be able to conceive a baby once I get to a place health wise that I am comfortable with having one... Why do I think like this? LIES all LIES!

Taking care of myself
I did the same thing I did last week on Wednesday. On my way back from Taft to pick up Astrid... this time making sure I had time and better shoes... I went to the park close to the school and walked for about 30 minutes. The wind was so strong today that all of these branches were everywhere. I have kind of a branch "theme" going in my house. I really love interesting branches... So, I got some good ones (some with interesting maybe mini acorns that had opened and look flowerish a smaller one with moss. I put them in the back of my car and when I picked up James, he said "You are so weird", I said "what I have a branch theme in the house" and he said "exactly, that is weird!".:)

The other thing I did for me is bought myself some of the balm I have been wanting from the co-op... I have it on now and it smells really good, I love lavender. My skin is just getting better and better and even some of the "natural" products that I have that I would call half natural... I am just not wanting to put it on my skin. I know my body is getting such pure ingredients... It ups the desire to have only the purest on top of it. I also have just not been using hardly anything. I want all the toxins to work their way out and then leave everything alone! So I wash my face with my favorite Burts Bees orange cleanser and that is about it... Now I will add the balm... Lip gloss ...go. My skin feels so much softer on these foods. The irritated feeling that was there is almost all gone! I think after my period I am going to be very surprised at how great my skin becomes.
My scalp too, just feels hydrated and I can tell it is starting to ease it's way down to my hair. I wanted to buy the mask too, to help the last bit of remaining funk clear out. But I did not have enough $, so I will have to wait. Probably just as well. I still want to keep it simple.

Day 23
Raw








Hey I am a week away from 30 days... 30 days to make a habit... :)


Vyk lost 12 lbs

I love my husband and I will not be frustrated that he has lost 12 lbs and I have not! I will not be frustrated that he has been eating all the same foods as me plus snickers and a doctor pepper and is losing more than me. I love him and I am happy that he is eating these healthy foods and making changes all on his own without any prodding or asking from me.
He has cut back on his soda and has even tried to quit it. And I want to grow old with him and it makes me happy that he is benefiting from my success with raw alive foods! OK, maybe I am a little frustrated!

PMS and Cacao
Need I say more? I woke up this morning with some cramps and uggh. It has made me pretty down on myself (you look bad, your hair is awful kind of stuff) which does not help motivation. I made some raw chocolate yesterday, but did not have any the week or two before.. So I am going to make sure I have a little all the time and see if it helps next month. I have been using raw carob powder in my smoothies, etc because I read about some of it's great properties...

The past 2 days I have not been as raw as I would like and I can feel the difference. I am more hungry, my blood sugar is having a little bit of problems.. still know where near where it was just
weeks ago. And I do not have as much energy. More cravings too. But, I am still happy and still feeling a lot better than I have in years.
I did better today then yesterday. I am at about 70% raw, but I think I feel better at 80% or more.
So tomorrow I am going to try to do a 100% day, just to help counteract the PMS funk. And give me a boost in energy.

Day 22
RAW










Last Weeks Goals
Prayer and devotion -I have really enjoyed this goal
Walk / swim/ move in some way daily - Yup, lots of small walks
Yoga 2 times a week - Yup :)
Dinner menu - really helped!
at least 50% raw at dinner - except when I went to a party
80-100% raw - all but one day
salad challenge - yum thai peanut salad

This Weeks Goals
Prayer and Devotion
Go to Doc to check Thyroid and research alternatives
Move daily, yoga 2 X a week = Thursday and Saturday
80-100% raw
Salad Challenge- knock of Fadi's cucumber salad
Fast from the scale- week long (gosh this is hard to commit to)

Silly 5 lbs
OK so I lost 5 lbs, and then did not lose anymore and then finally, this week, seemed to gain most of it back to much frustration and over concern on my part.
BUT I weighed this morning (my official weigh day- should have never weighed earlier) and the 5 lbs was gone! SO, it is all water weight from my period which will probably start any minute (I generally gain 5-8 lbs) so I will probably have a net loss after it is over and I think I am silly for stressing over it! Hence above goal for the week! :)

Doctor's Visit
Today I had an appointment with my doctor to have my thyroid checked.
My doctor is actually pretty good for a general doc she leans towards holistic medicine and does acupuncture (even billing it creatively for the insurance)... She also has a great way of hiring exceptional nurse practicioners - all women- who are good at listening and pro active.

Last night I started thinking/ praying about my thyroid and my thoughts were... what if you do not have a thyroid problem? What if the test comes back in normal range? And going through symptoms, etc with more optimisim.

So today I saw one of the nurse practitioners. She asked if I had any symptoms... I told her other than the obvious one of being overweight the only other ones were constipation and dried eyes.... The symptoms of depression, low energy, brittle hair, dry skin, and low sex drive have seemed to improve. So, she asked how long after your "pregnancy" were you diagnosed? I said about a year after my daughter was born. She said that it was not uncommon to have thyroid problems after pregnacy. I asked if it sometimes resolved itself and she said "sometimes." Which is great because I had heard once you were on the drug you would be on it for life. I told her I would rather not take anything and she told me that if I got similar results as previous tests... if the symptoms were not bothering me and I did not mind being like 5 lbs heavier than it would not be too bad. I asked if it was an increased risk for heart disease and she said only if it goes on for years and worsens over time. She said that considering my resent 5 lbs weight loss, she was not worried. She said she could write me a prescription or we could wait until the results came back and discuss options. I went with the later. I told her I was open to alternatives to medication and she said she would look into it and talk with the Doc. She was so positive, I was suprised at how well it went.

SO, I am really glad I went and that I made the decision to take it on instead of not dealing with it and worrying.

Looking for alternatives, if it is still low...
I want to look into alternative treatments that do not include hormones and give them a try and maybe retest after 6 months raw. One of the things that is supposed to help is Kelp. I just had some Nori Rolls so I am good for today :) But I might look into a supplement with that and other known helpers and see if it seems to give my thyroid the extra help in healing. I know to avoid soy, esp processed... I have also read cabbage and Kale and some other things that I am not going to worry to much about. I think the minor change in thyroid they cause is not the problem.

Day 21
270 lbs






3 weeks raw

Today was a beautiful day. Gorgeous outside, crisp and Fallish. We don't get a real Fall here in Houston, so a day like this you have to really take in. The kids worked with leaves and drew with them. Chris did a kids message so I got to worship with all the families and it was just so great looking around and seeing everyone, so fun. I once again did not get to hear the message this week. Vyk's car got hit last Thursday and we have one car for a while. We will have to deal with the insurance company and then have it fixed which I expect to take a while. So I had to drive him to work on 45N and leave the evening service at 6:30 right about the time Chris was getting me interested. I am so curious as to the message. I am excited to hear it in a few weeks when it is on line. He is talking about scaling back your Christmas in order to give to blood water mission. So, it is just the challenge our family needs... more on that probably closer to Christmas.

Day of Rest
I did get to worship today and esp the evening was really good! It felt good to just worship, and to worship with my family.
I also made a special effort to get in rest today. I napped or just laid after lunch and then got up and went for a brisk walk before heading off to the evening service.

3 weeks
At 3 weeks and about to start my period. Weight I had lost (5 lbs) is almost all back ...I am sure it is water weight gain. But, still I wish I had lost more. I feel so good there is no way I am letting it slow me down. After my period I will probably lose like 8 lbs for a total of 10 and be happy. So, I am holding firm. I would rather weigh the same amount forever and feel as good as I have than weigh more and feel awful. I know the weight will come off.

Blood Sugar Normal
The biggest change and the biggest success this week is my BLOOD SUGAR! For someone who has struggled since like 20 with severe hypoglycemia, accounting for much of my weight problems....
to say... I have not had any hypoglycemia this week... This is HUGE
I have not felt low even when I was not on time with a snack or even missed a snack... I did not think it would be possible and definitely on this diet with no dairy or meat. I am floored. I woke up this morning with a little more hunger than the rest of the week and a little low blood sugar. Had to make my smoothie a little more promptly than other mornings. I think this is due to the large amount of cooked foods I had yesterday. I do not understand it, but I think the raw foods (I guess the enzymes) help keep everything even. So a high raw foods diet is the answer for me, if there was any doubt before now. I am very excited about this development for me with my low blood sugar and even feel like after just a few months on a raw diet I will no longer be hypoglycemic. YEAH! I am going to have a physical when I am pretty confident and see... How exciting would it be to get a blood sugar test back and have it normal. Not hypoglycemic and not Diabetic which is where I would probably be if I had kept going the way I was!
These are the goals, along with weight loss to work toward.

DAY 20 RAW

Body
This AM at Yoga, I had a pretty weird experience... in the coarse of the yoga class I went through every detox symptom in a mini way. They say yoga cleanses all your lymph glands... So I guess that is what was going on. First my feet were hurting, then I had nausea, then I started getting a flimy throat, then a really really runny nose! About that time I thought "this is really weird". Then finally I got a headache. It all cleared except the headache by the end of class, and the headache was gone by the time I got home.

Food
I managed to have a really busy day of not eating at home and do well. Still much more cooked then I would have at home, but good food and good enough considering. We ate at a Sushi Bar after Yoga and before grocery shopping... I had veggie rolls that were out of this world.
Then, I had a veggie soup at a party in the PM. So, cooked but good.
I didn't even think of the other stuff that was available. Actually all the food was good too, so that helped. This is probably the most cooked I have had so far. I did pack lots of healthy raw snacks which kept me on track. I do feel a little less energy tonight and actually a little more hungry than I usually do. Interesting.

Spirit/ Soul
One thing that is amazing me about this journey is this fact....
When God says something is good ... He means it is good...
It is good for me, good for my family...
Good for my budget, good for farmers budgets, good for the local economy, good for the environment, good for the earth...
Good for my tastebuds, good for my spirit, good for my body, good for my soul. If that isn't proof of design in all of this I do not know what is.

When God says it is good, it is good! It is pure and it is purely good.
There are other things that I say are good.. God said it to us, he said it to the animals, he said it to the earth, he said it to the water, he said it to the moon and stars, and he said it to the green and living things.

And all of those things are purely good. Pure life and all amazingly functioning together, in this beautiful way. We try so hard to make it better. But it is good. It is already good. And God is good. I say it so much lately I can barely stand it! But He has designed it all, so simply and so beautifully, out of this overwhelming love and generosity for us.
He did not hold back, He gave us an overabundance. But, we think we can do better.

There are changes being made in me to things I thought were part of my personality. So much a part of me, of my design, that they just would always be that way.

I am the kind of person who sleeps in, I press the snooze button... it is like I can never have enough sleep. But, I have a hard time getting to bed at night, I lean towards insomnia. I am melancholy (well that might still be half true). I have a slow metabolism, I will always be heavy. I am not energetic, I am more the laid back type. I have horrible skin, tend toward chemical sensitivity and rosasia. It's just me, how I was made. God must have wanted me to have a great personality. I am the creative type, not the active type. I am hypoglycemic, I will most likely become diabetic. All the women in my family are diabetic, so I will be diabetic. I can not eat fruit because it spikes my blood sugar too much. I get bad PMS.

Lies. All lies.

I am testing one more health thing this week. I am going to have my doctor test my thyroid. I have been diagnosed with hypothyroidism but have not taken medication for the last year or so because it was the only medication I was putting into my body and I did not want to. (I know)...
So, I am having her test it and then I will decide how to deal with it, trying something holistically or asking about a non synthetic or going back on the synthetic and retesting once I have lost weight and been a year or so raw. I think I have been in a bit of a denial about it which is not healthy. So, I am going to pray and see where He leads me with this one thing. My thyroid symptoms are interfering with all the other benefits of a raw foods diet. So, I do need to do this for myself.

John 10:10
The thief comes only in order to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance (to the full, till it overflows).


My yoga mat has the word fulfillment on it... I barely noticed, good word... I like it... But, yesterday doing yoga I got a revelation.

I am FULL! Being full of God now that there is room, is huge!
Read these definitions with the idea of being full of God or God fulfilling you vs food... very powerful realization.

FULFILLMENT -
To bring into actuality; effect.
To carry out.
To measure up to; satisfy. perform, satisfy.
To bring to an end; complete.

To gratify the need, desire, or expectation of.
To fulfill (a need or desire).
To free from doubt or question; assure.
To get rid of (a doubt or question); dispel.
To discharge (a debt or obligation, for example) in full.
To discharge an obligation to (a creditor).
To conform to the requirements of (a standard or rule); be sufficient to (an end).
To make reparation for; redress. (how cool is that one in Christ?)

FULL-
Containing all that is normal or possible.
Complete in every particular.
Of maximum or highest degree.
Being at the peak of development or maturity: in full bloom.
Having a great deal or many.
Totally qualified, accepted, or empowered.
Rounded in shape; plump: a full figure.
Having or made with a generous amount of fabric (or material- how good is that one).
Having an appetite completely satisfied, especially for food or drink.
Providing an abundance, especially of food.
Having depth and body; rich.
Completely absorbed or preoccupied.
To a complete extent; entirely

Day 18 RAW

Soul
Well, after waking up in such a funk yesterday, I have to admit I was a bit worried... I guess it was just grief which naturally comes in bursts so you can deal with it in a manageable way. Yesterday I grieved and I am happy about the healthy way I acknowledged and dealt with it. I woke up today with none of the same sadness.

Actually this morning I woke up at 6 (30 minutes early) with lots of energy and could not get back to sleep. This is just not like me. And when other people have talked about it, I would think that sounds crazy!

Spirit
I made use of the time by having a leisurely devotional with a Psalm, a Henri Nouwen daily devotion and Chris Seay's Acts book... Really great!
I prayed esp for Angi and Nathan for recovery and restoration which are the two words God gave me after I visited him last Tuesday. I have been saying them out loud... speaking them "Fully restored, full recovery!"

Body
I went to yoga tonight with my old YOGA teacher who I went twice a week to for 2 years. I have tried others and I just love her routine and her, so it was nice to get a hug and talk. She does Hatha Yoga and it just makes me feel so good. I was so out of practice, but still not as bad as I was the first time I did it. I want to make it a regular thing to go to her class again.
Yoga is just one of the keys for me. It somehow connects me back to my body which I have always been very disconnected from and hateful towards. I also use it as a spiritual practice and have grown so much in doing so... During Savasana or corpse pose, when I have gone pretty deep into relaxation and breathing... I let things float up in my mind.. like painful memories or sadness or anger and as the thought comes up with the inhalation, I picture being in the arms of God and letting that thought or time or feeling fall down at His feet with the exhalations. I picture Him holding me like a child and rocking me. It really helps and God has given this image to me, and this way to practice releasing things to Him. I know a lot of people would think this is too Eastern and not Christian, but
I know that God has used it with me and He has helped me adapt it to worship Him.

Food
I had my highest cooked day today... I had a black bean burger with mushrooms at Chili's which by the way, I will avoid... Everything had dairy or something... It was almost impossible to get a salad I could have... I ended up with the black bean burger, took most of the bun off and mushrooms and steamed broccoli.. I got a house salad with vinegar and oil which came with cheese on it! AHHH! So, really I just need to know how to order at restaurants, which I think will come in time. I will now know to make sure there is no cheese on the house salad at Chilis...
I did not feel bad after my meal and even though it was an almost 100% cooked meal I am proud of my selection. Learning curve.
What is funny is what I enjoyed the most out of the meal was the mushrooms and broccoli. The salad was ho hum ice burg and just not that good! The burger and esp the bread tasted bland and just not fresh.
My taste buds have definitely changed. I think it is a tiny miracle that comes from a big miracle and will lead to a big miracle in me!!!! :)

Day 17 RAW
Wow!
November 8
My mom's B Day

Soul- Today was a hard day for me. I had a long day yesterday caring for everyone around me... which is good, but I am definitely in need of some recoup, repower and recenter time. I woke up today with a flood of emotion brought on by seeing Nathan in the hospital yesterday and my dad's dog dying a week or 2 back and my moms birthday and hospitals and grief and possible PMS. It just all hit. So, even though it was work day up at Taft I did a few things to make myself feel better and reconnect with the place I have been. First on the way to pick up Astrid I was 30 minutes or more ahead of schedule so I stopped at a park and walked for 30 minutes. I called my dad and invited him over for dinner and asked James to be around and even Vyk was able to have dinner with us. And after Astrid goes to bed I am going to do a brief yoga practice, just so I will not feel so bad about missing last nights wholy fit (ended up stuck in traffic delivering dinner to a friend and missing it).

Goals and Food-
I have done really well the last few days. I was at about 85% raw yesterday and today was about 95%!!! I feel good lots of energy despite emotions. I did get overwhelmed this morning and start to not care about prepping food, etc... But I pushed through, luckily there was lots of easy stuff left over from previous meals to use.

The dinner schedule is working. I just pick from one of the meals for the week I have planned and it has kept me doing better than my goal of 80% raw. Tonight I also accomplished my goal of knocking off a salad a week.

SALAD CHALLENGE
Here is the Thai Chicken Salad from Barton Springs Grill only better!!!
Spring Mix and Red tip lettuce
Cucumbers
avocados
Wild Jungle Peanuts chopped (thanks to Lisa)
Coconut shredded
Cilantro
Organic corn tortillas cut into strips and made crisp in coconut oil

Dressing:
Vegan Caesar 1/4 cup (if you do not have this you can make a basic vinaigrette with dijon mustard in it)
Nama Shoyu (3 tbspns)
Agave Nectar 2 squeezes
Peanut Butter or Almond Butter 1/2 tbspn

Prepare all the ingredients for the salad (mix in some of the peanuts and coconut and cilantro), mix in the dressing and then sprinkle with the shredded coconut, peanuts, cilantro and corn strips.

You can make corn strips in the dehydrator (I will do this next time).

Tonight James, out of a bit of raw food overload, ordered chicken wings for the whole family. I served this salad with it. Along with some pineapple for desert. It was so funny they scarfed down the salad and James said it was the best salad he had tasted in his life! They had seconds of the salad while polishing off the wings. I did not feel in the least bit deprived. The dressing is sweet and the soy sauce with the hint of mustard just made for a great combo. The coconut oil I crisped the tortillas in was the kind that tastes a little coconutty so that added depth to the thai taste. Yumm!

Day 15 RAW

Goals for the week
Prayer and devotion (I have been waking up early and with energy so I want to make use of this)
Walk / swim/ move in some way daily
Yoga 2 times a week - Tuesdays (wholy fit), Thursdays
Dinner menu - at least 50% raw at dinner
80-100% raw
Eat out once for my salad challenge and knock off a salad from last week.

Tonight was mission accomplished with dinner. The above goal for this week to do under 50% raw I think will be the key to long term success for me. Breakfast and Lunch are easy to do 100%, dinner esp with family gets hard... But do able with planning. SO tonight I had a meal I am very happy with.

Dinner- I made falafel into small balls and cooked in coconut oil. I made a big batch of Tahini dressing (this batch is the best I have made so far in my life) and I chopped cucumbers, tomatoes and parsley, washed some Romaine lettuce leaves and ... The best dinner! I rolled one falafel ball in a romaine leaf with a bunch of cucumber and and slathered it with tahini dressing, adding parsley at the end! Wow, it was good and super fast! Only problem Astrid does not like falafel, so I had a back up for her, not too hard. Vyk and James were happy with pitas and I even talked James into adding the cucumbers in to his.

Tahini Sauce/ dressing (this makes enough for the week)
1 cup raw tahini
1/2 cup water
1/2 cup lemon juice (about 2 and a half lemons)
3 cloves garlic
1 tsp herbamer or 1/2 tsp sea salt

The Way I Want to Love You
Julian of Norwich

You must learn to understand that all your deficiencies, even those that come from your past sins and vicious habits, are part of my loving providence for you, and that it is just with those deficiencies, just the way you are now, that I would love you. Therefore you must overcome the habit of judging how you would make yourself acceptable to me. When you do this you are putting your providence, your wisdom before mine. It is my wisdom that tells you, “The way you are acceptable to me, the way I want to love you, is the way you are now, with all your defects and deficiencies. I could wipe them out in a moment if I wanted to, but then I could not love you the way I want to love you, the way you are – now.”
Source: Revelations of Divine Love

2 WEEKS RAW
267 lbs






I had a really good day yesterday, and Sunday is one of my hardest days... I ate at a friends house after church.. she was kind enough (because I let her know what I needed (kind of hard for me) to prepare a special salad and even help me make a fast dressing ... Anyway, this is one of the things I hated about being vegetarian for those years... for some reason I hate seeming high maintenance... I want to be a go with the flow type and no trouble and I hate putting people out. But, this might be a maturity thing or a desperation thing but I am finally able to see that it really isn't that big of a deal and also I am worth the trouble :) and it is worth the trouble to just ask. Anyway, I know it helped me stay on track (she even so kindly packed me a salad for dinner which went a long with my other raw snacks I had packed).

So first meal at someone's house SUCCESS!

Spirit- I did not have my normal spiritual renewal this week because I needed to stay in the kids area and help in the PM (we had a ton of kids which is great, but...). So I did not get to worship in the traditional since although I did get to "teach" the PM kids which I love and miss sometimes. I love being in story with them and praying and listening to their prayers! They are so amazing! Praying for their friends to know God and for their relationships with other children, one little girl told me (just because I asked) that her twin was dead. So I could take the time and pray with her over that. IT was beautiful. And even though it was a stressful day it was such a blessing to me! It really does continue to "fill me up" working with the children of Ecclesia. For those of you who's children I am speaking of, now you know how loved they are!

This morning, it was raining when we woke up. I try to get Astrid to school early (like 30 minutes) because I know it is so good for her to run and play before she goes about the "work" of school. But, unlike our last school they do not go out when it rains :(... so, I decided we would put on our rain boots and go out together before school. We walked and splashed and had the best start to the morning. I actually started running with her and we just enjoyed being together. I think I would have done this not on raw foods, but I would have done it a little slower and with less enthusiasms! My energy is fully amazing me!

Body- Another amazing thing about this morning is I woke up and did not have low blood sugar.. so I drank a glass of water as I made Astrid's Breakfast and Lunch and then I thought, I am not hungry.. I will wait until I take her and see if I get hungry then. !!!!!!!! On the way home(this is after the 20 minute walk), sure enough, hunger pangs... But no shakiness or headache or irritability or cravings for quick energy foods that indicate low blood sugar! Just hunger!
So I came home and made myself a cinnamon apple breakfast and I enjoyed it and it is almost lunch time and my blood sugar is A OK!
For those of you who do not have any blood sugar issues, just let me express THIS IS HUGE! This is the root of most of my problems. My blood sugar would dip low before my stomach was even empty before.. I was always eating to keep it level instead of eating to satisfy hunger. And when it goes low my body starts asking for fast sugar like processed sugar and carbs.. because it is like "WE ARE STARVING>>> GIVE US SUGAR IN THE FASTEST FORM/ WAY POSSIBLE!" Now you are like "She is crazy, she is animating her body"! But now you know how huge this is for me!

So at two weeks ... skin clearing, less hunger, less fluctuations in blood sugar, more energy, happier, joyful, feeling like moving more, clothes starting to fit a tiny bit differently, calm, centered, less overwhelmed, better to / with my family, able to receive love, more open, better intimacy in my marriage.

Weight loss holding steady at 5 lbs, but I am not going to let that get me down! I have made too much progress and I know I am healthier!

I do think I need to look into a homeopathic remedy for low thyroid. I am not on medication for my thyroid, which is a big no no. But, it was the only drug I was on and I hated to put it in my body. I will need to look into some other way to treat it or get back on it if my body continues to refuse to shed the weight!

Day 13 Raw

A good friend of mine joked that my text size kept getting bigger on my emails as the time progressed! The 13 is now the biggest text size this blog will allow which seems to down play the excitement of DAY 13!

Yes, this is me age maybe 3?
And this is just how I feel today!
Brilliant day! Saturday, "Papa day" as it is known in our house! I got loads of exercise in... started with a early AM walk (woke up early and with SO much energy) to the local bayou. Then since it was sooo nice a trip to the arboretum. And lots of walking there. I usually have a hard time keeping up with Vyk and Astrid but I really came close today :0

Lunch at Fadi's Mediterranean cucumber salad with mint dressing that I need to add to my knock off list. I also had a greek salad and some hummus. I planned on having california rolls, but didn't... I bought some Nori sheets to try making Nori rolls this week. I did a great job planning out my dinners for the week. I hope this will help me with the dinner lows of last week.

I have not done the massive dehydration effort that I wanted to do. I was too busy having fun :) But, I still can work on it tonight (maybe).

But overall a very successful and happy day.

DAY 12 RAW

I had a good day today. Went for a walk. Ran errands. Spent Extra time with Astrid. Went to a birthday party with no desire to eat the cake! Got a complement on my skin (thanks J)! Dinner with my family a success!
And after I do this, time with hubbie!

Radishes -
I am craving a food that I NEVER ate raw and hardly ate at all before this... Radishes. They taste so lite and crisp cut really thinly... like a chip. A really beautiful color. This is part of this radical change in the way I am seeing and thinking about food. Today, I had my lunch salad in the car... I ate it with my hands again and as I am eating it I am thinking.. this is better than french fries or chips something inside of me was as satisfied with the salad, but with none of the guilt or shame. This is the second time I have eaten my salad with my hands... Very unlady like.. But, it make me think I would actually be happy with this food in a different presentation... so I will experiment with that. I am rethinking my plates and bowls.. I need some bigger bowls. I have been using sushi plates a lot.. That type of presentation with the different raw foods laid out across makes me happy right now. I also am really enjoying raw zucchini... I never would have thought I would like this raw before. But all of these crisp veggies are so good! I can hear James with his friends now "my sister is on drugs!"
But it is all true. Very different! It just turns everything on it's head, upside down.. IT is exactly the change I need and I am glad I listened to God and to by body finally.

Turned upside down- I think for some people this kind of fast change might not seem sane. But for me and my food and health issues. I think it had to be pretty radical. Do you tell an alcoholic to taper off? No. Do you tell them to be careful not to do too much too fast? No.
You tell them to quit and to never touch a drop, because they are alcoholic and one drop of alcohol is not the same to them as it is to me. I have to face the fact that for me, processed foods are like that. They do something to my body that is so bad for me, it is life threatening and life destroying.

Food-
Dinner was the big goal today & I did well. I used my craving for soup (which I think was brought on by the dehydrated Kale, it is really good with soup)... So I planned a raw veggie soup. Cooked a big pot of veggie soup for my family and kept some veggies to the side... Made myself a bowl of mainly broth and waited til it was hot but would not burn my finger and added the veggies I kept to the side. This was really great because I was able to eat with my family and have the same food (basically). With Kale on the side (Vyk is sold) and a salad.

Favorite fall salad right now- It just makes you feel like it is fall!
Mixed greens
Sunflower sprouts
zucchini
Yellow squash
Cucumber
Pumpkin Seeds (lots)
I have been alternating a tahini dressing or a vinegar and oil

Day 11 Raw!

Had a good day... beautiful outside! I ate about the same as yesterday, which I am happy with...probably 80% raw (at least)... I had another cup of the same soup for dinner (a small cup) with rice added in...

First time eating out... Vyk and I had a lunch date and went to Barton Springs Grill. I had a Thai Chicken Salad minus the chicken which they kindly subbed for an avocado. It was actually really good... I am going to try to knock it off with an even healthier version next week. I think that is a good goal... to try a different salad out every week or so and then copy it or make it better. It will keep the salad thing fun and yummy! So.. when I do the knock off I will post a recipe. Hey, maybe this could be a challenge with the group I am in for accountability (YES YOU GUYS)!

Two things to work on... I did not do my yoga (need to schedule it better) and dinner time.. I have been trying to wing it and when it is close to dinner nothing sounds exciting so I kind of start wanting food that I really do not want to have right now. So before I go grocery shopping probably tomorrow, I will write a menu out and this next week I will stick to it (at least for dinner).

energy, body not aching, excited about the food, skin is starting to clear, weight loss, happy, content, stress gone, my body is just naturally moving more and faster, less irritable, spiritually feeling more connected to God, more intimacy with my relationships, more love to give, able to receive more love, openness, joyful, laughing more...

Day TEN raw

Had some potato leek soup with freshly dehydrated Kale (FIRST FOOD IN THE NEW ) for dinner.. other then the soup everything else I ate today was raw!

I discovered the best thing about my work day at Taft is that now Pat is doing all of these raw goodies... I can try to have a little $ on wednesdays and treat myself.. I got some raw carob powder today for $1.50 a lb!

I stopped at Jamba Juice for my first snack away from home... Carrot juice with a shot of wheatgrass... really dropped me... I have to be really careful with juice. :(

SOUL/ SPIRIT-
Addiction- any process used to avoid or take away intolerable reality.
Compulsion- an irresistible impulse to act, regardless of rationality or motivation.

These definitions were in the book by Angela Stokes... She talks about food addiction and it is hard to face... It took me a couple of days to process. She was talking about the fact that real change will come when you deal with the problem of addiction and face them head on instead of saying any diet or anything you can do will solve it... She encourages a 12 step program like OA ... Which made me face the fact that I would be one of "those people". I think the main difference in attitude after digesting this is applying what God has already led me to... I am not in control... I am sick and I have gotten myself here... I can not do it on my own.. I need help from Him...

Very interesting that last word in the compulsion definition... "motivation" .. will power... I think we think we can do it with our will power.. that is day one of a diet and you are strong... but as time goes on... willpower weakens. I have beat up on myself and told myself that I am so weak... Finally realizing that was a lie.. I have strong will power, sometimes too strong (ask Vyk). I am a can do type of person. But now I see... it is not about will power or motivation.. It is about having no control. Realizing God has to be given the control. I think I am on the right road.

Here are the 12 steps of OA

1. We admitted we were powerless over food and that our lives had become unmanageable.
2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
   Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
5. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
6. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
7. Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.
8. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
9. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.
10. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
11. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps, we tried to carry this message to compulsive overeaters and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

Gosh, sounds like biblical living to me. Who couldn't use a 12 step program? So I think I will pick up a copy of a 12 step book at half price the next time I am there and work through it.

Day Nine Raw

Happy Halloween!

I did not have one bite of candy! And better yet, I did not want any! I did give serious thought to not having it around at all... But I do not want to go too fast with my family and have them resenting me for it. It is the one time a year I have candy in the house (well, there is usually a little in stockings at Christmas). Astrid did her annual trick or treating and we gathered the candy, chose a few pieces to eat and a few to save and gave the rest to the "sugar sprite" who will come and give her a small token gift in return. This is a great Waldorf tradition that will stay with us. The sprite left a glitter trail and a card game and stamp this year. Anyway, all the candy is out of the house.

I had some of my "nutella" spread and apples at the end of the night with Astrid... Which was a perfect Halloween treat! I am very proud and happy with myself.

I am feeling much better today. This morning I had some stomach upset (acidic again) and realized I was having detox symptoms yesterday and this morning... But they improved and I feel very energetic again. Extra Green smoothy for dinner again ...it just seems to be what I need.