Day Eight Raw
267 lbs

I had an OK day today! I started with a smoothie, but under Astrid's pleading made a berry smoothie and even though I added some coconut oil in... I think it was a little too sweet and it just did not have the staying power of one with an avocado or almond butter...

Anyway, it seemed to leave me lower than other days. I ended up making up for it with a great lunch with a guacamole salad and a after school snack of apples and "nutella" (really great see recipe below)...
unfortunately, my blood sugar being low is hard to recover from and it left me really low in energy the rest of the day and with a headache.

For dinner I had a really green smoothie.. because I have discovered they give you an amazing energy boost and I was worried I might be developing a little Candida... so I thought this and some acidophillus would do the trick. I feel a million times better and made sure I had a great snack on some carrots about now to keep me there. I probably ate like 95% raw today. Yesterday was the most I have had cooked... I served tacos to my family... which was so good!

"Nutella" spread
Hazelnuts (about a cup)
Agave Nectar (squeeze or two)
Cacao nibs (large handful)
Almond milk (just to wet mixture)
Vanilla Extract (I did not add this but will next time)

Grind nibs in blender , add other ingredients and blend until creamy and spreadable... Serve on thinly sliced apples (esp of the tart green variety)

Really Green Smoothie
At least a cup of spinach packed
banana
Super Green Food of choice
Almond milk (cup or a little less)
Ice cubes (unless you use frozen bananas)

Blend... This gives me soooo much energy and doesn't seem to drop me. If I am using it as a meal I would add a avocado or some almond butter to give it more "staying power".


PERFECT answer to family meal- tacos and lemonade
Here was my first "family" meal eating this way... very important for this to go well... I laid everything out like a big feast and we made our own. VERY POPULAR!
Organic crispy taco shells
Hemp seed sprouted tortillas (good by the way)
Big bowl of salad mix for "taco salad"
Fresh Quacamole
Black Beans
Brown Rice
Salsa verde (jar)
Pico
Corn
avocados in slices
tomatoes
dehydrated tomatoes
Cilantro
Sunflower sprouts
Lime wedges
Cheese available for family

I ate probably 60-70% raw at this meal... big decision -no tortilla chips (I knew I would lose it!) :) no one asked or complained! They were happy I was happy! And lemonade!

Goals for the week- body, mind, spirit, and soul
Make sure I have a good breakfast and snack on time... no dips in bloodsugar! This triggers overeating because my body is desperate for food (usually bad food).
The more raw I eat the better I feel, so I am staying as raw as I can while still not feeling deprived. I do not want to go over 60% cooked for any meal.
Yoga 2 times and "move" everyday.
Make sure I keep healthy boundaries with the Angi situation and stay in constant prayer before and during my visits. Do not "take on" this situation , leave it in God's capable hands!

Dangerous Business
Emilie Griffin
Prayer is a very dangerous business. For all the benefits it offers of growing closer to God, it carries with it one great element of risk: the possibility of change. In prayer we open ourselves to the chance that God will do something with us that we had not intended We yield to possibilities of intense perception, of seeing through human masks and the density of 'things' to the very center of reality. This possibility excites us, but at the same time there is a fluttering in the stomach that goes with any dangerous adventure. Don't we know for a fact that people who begin by 'just praying' - with no particular aim in mind - wind up trudging off to missionary lands, entering monasteries, taking part in demonstrations, dedicating themselves to the poor and sick? To avoid this, sometimes we excuse ourselves from prayer by doing good works on a carefully controlled schedule.
Source: Clinging: The Experience of Prayer

DAY SEVEN RAW
Day of Rest

Spirit - God does this stuff to me esp since Ecclesia (or maybe it is easier to see being in community). But, He is good! When I am on the right path, He lets me know by confirming and affirming. When I am on the wrong path He lets me know by correction and discipline. Tonight He spoke to me and affirmed that I am on the right path, that I am listening to Him and that is so amazing! God is faithful!

Friendship is priceless, and this weekend I had a sick girl and so many beautiful people wanting to spend time with us... did not get to... But, still I was amazed at how many people were around and wanting to spend time. I feel like this is spiritual, it is hard to explain, but there is more to detox than just a physical cleansing or maybe there is more to the changes that have led me here. But spiritually things have been washed away and I am able to be more open and receive love and friendship.

Soul- My heart is heavy for my old friend, Angi, and her son (He is having brain surgery Monday)... I need to email out for prayers for them. I have a lot of emotion around seeing them last night. A lot of boundary and control issues. I love her and I love her kids, they are out of control and it hurts me to see her hurting and knowing her hurt is hurting her kids. And in the midst of such a serious situation for a boy who looks like a man now (he is 15) but I remember as a baby, I have no control. I can not change her path, I can not change what they have ahead of them. I can not help, God has made that clear to me. So I pray, the same prayer I have prayed for a while and I pray because I know God can heal and mend and fix what I have no hope of healing. Prayer for this family, beautiful, broken as they are.

DAY SIX RAW

Spent the day with my family. Astrid was still a little sick so we kept it simple... It was a beautiful day outside so lots of vitamin D. Went for a picnic at the park and I brought my salad, etc .. I ended up not having a fork and having to eat it with my hands which was rather satisfying... Vyk joked with me about it being raw snack food vs a salad. :) But we walked and moved and had fun together... I feel so good!
I also am going to see my old friend Angi who's son is in the hospital with a brain tumor. It will be challenging emotionally for me, because there are good reasons why we do not hang out much anymore... Seeing her and her kids under such horriable conditions will take a lot out of me. I will be mindful of not stress eating. And not picking up any negative feelings and carrying them around with me. Prayer!

Soul- I am happy! I am less stressed! I am not as grumpy! I am energetic! I have a stronger connection with my family! I am at peace! Could this be from eating this way? It is very possiable!

Food-
I had the most cooked meal I have had so far today... a little cous cous in my salad...
This was my first family meal tonight eating this way. I can see it will be harder to deal with when I have more sit down dinners. Luckily but Unluckily my family is very ships passing in the night right now. Vyk is on a very strange work schedule and James is working now or with friends so much that we only weekly get a sit down meal together. I do sit down with Astrid everynight. But she is easy to please with rice and healthy pasta and that kind of thing that is easy to whip up... But with that being said. My family is eating healthier with me. They are getting more fruits and veggies because they are available. I can see this being a smoother transition with family than I could have ever hoped for. Tomorrow is the Sunday family meal where I invite my dad and we all eat together...Grocery shopping later, I will be mindful of what I decide we will all eat!!! Planning will be the key to my success. This is a day we generally eat out a lot as well! FUN!

DAY FIVE RAW!
Friday 10-27-06
Birds find nooks and crannies in your house, sparrows and swallows make nests there. They lay their eggs and raise their young, singing their songs in the place where we worship. God-of-the-Angel-Armies! King! God! How blessed they are to live and sing there!
And how blessed all those in whom you live

BODY-
No symptoms of detox today... Last night I had some mild stomach upset... BUT, hardly anything...
My energy is not as good as it has been in prior days.

I am not hungry... I am having to make myself eat something
Miracle of miracles is no low blood sugar... Even with no mid morning snack today! Lunch came and I felt a little low.

FOOD:
100% Raw except for a veggie broth I heated and added raw zuccini, yellow squash, cucumbers, carrots, and red peppers to... my favorite veggie soup but raw... Really satisfying!

I might add in some rice today and see how it makes me feel!

SOUL- The challenge has been Astrid being home since Wednesday, which has helped me just be home and focus on the food prep... But we are both a little stir crazy. I am mentally not as excited about the food and can not wait to get the books and dehydrator to boost my excitement. I think grocery shopping will help too, the food just all looks so good to me! Maybe I need to make a batch of raw chocolate!

SPIRIT- Praying for the detox to be spiritual, mental, and physical...
That any challenges will be overcome and that God will lead me in my journey towards healing.

Praying that God will help me overcome my mental blocks to healthy eating.. including dieting... If I eat less... that is better? NO! Eat more of what your body needs!

Day Four RAW!
Emails in my in box this morning and a green smoothie helped me so much this AM!

BODY- I think I might have overstated the detox symptoms so far... I am having a bit of an upset stomach (acidic) with headache in the PM and then loose stool and a bit of a headache in the AM . The rest of the day is fine.. in fact great... I think I have gotten a taste of what it will be like once I get through detox

SO here are the POSITIVE side effects I have seen so far:

• Taste buds are woken up (hard to explain)
• Clearer head (not right now, but I have had this more than not)
• Body not as achy (aches in my body that I thought were just my age went away)

It seems like already the positive outweighs the negative symptoms...
Everyday the detox symptoms have gotten worse, so I will just do it til it is unbearable... I am getting to the point where I can see if I just hold firm my body will get into some deep cleansing. So I want to press on.. IF it gets to be too much.. Do not worry, I have veggie broth and veggies ready to go for a veggie soup to slow it down.

This morning is the worst so far:
Headache
Stuffy / Allergy symptoms (but not as bad as a cold)
Energy low
Weird taste in my mouth / bad breathe (Astrid made sure I knew about that one) :)

But, I seem to cycle and this goes away by mid morning... So we will see. I can handle it though!!!!

The best news... I am craving.. But the only cravings I have had are for raw fruits and veggies... Craving lots of lemon water...

FOOD: Yesterday 100% Raw except for 4 flax seed tortilla chips (my family ate them with the spread I made)
And would highly recommend trying it:

• Pumpkin seeds
• Dehydrated tomatoes (they now sell these at Whole Foods- at low temp it says)
• Paprika
• Lemon
• Water

It was better before I over blended it.. I will leave it choppy next time. Really good with Red and Yellow and green bell peppers!

YEAH! I am doing it! There is some doubt, that this will work for me... But less and less obviously!

DAY THREE RAW
Wednesday
10-25-06

BODY-
Well! Pretty bad headache last night and then stomach ... "movement" is all I will say to describe it... it is a weird feeling, I told Vyk it is like you can feel everything moving through small and large intestines, colon everything...starting to move and loosen when it hasn't moved in a long time. It feels blocked up still, but I think it will be moving shortly. Sorry... I know this is weird... BUT it is important...
Movement good, right ? :)

Astrid came home with a fever last night, she is home sick which means I can not go to work which might just be by the grace of God... I think I need to be home today :)

Yesterday,, 100% raw except a hemp seed sprouted tortilla and a tiny bit of salsa with dinner... is that like 80-90%? This is better than I had planned, so I am happy with myself.

BLOOD SUGAR -besides the headache which we are just going to say was detox... No real blood sugar problems... I need to be better about eating on time and not waiting til my blood sugar is low...

Right now I cannot imagine leaving the house eating like this... Vyk and I want to go to Austin to visit some friends this weekend and I am thinking how am I going to do this? Luckily it is one friend who eats a really healthy organic non vegetarian diet and the other is vegetarian... So I can count on them both making me a good salad, and have plenty of veggies on hand. But if it gets me off this role I am on... it might not be worth going. I feel like I also need to set a realistic goal for going like I will eat a non raw meal one time and do 75% raw the rest of the time.

DAY TWO RAW
Tuesday 10-24-06

SOUL-
A Gasp in the Unknown
Dawna Markova
My grandmother explained that we all walk a spiral path she called the wisdom trail, and we walk on the foot of risk, then the foot of mastery, then back on the foot of risk. As I understood it, if a person stays on the foot of risk too long, they find themselves nervously hopping from thing to thing, never settling in and developing mastery On the other hand, if they stay in their mastery too long, they get stuck in the mud and their soul never really gets to develop fully.Each time we shift from the foot of mastery to the foot of risk it takes a leap of faith, a little gasp in the unknown where God can enter.
Source: I Will Not Die an Unlived Life

Is that not good.... I am on the foot of risk, I do not even want to say what I am doing for the fact it feels so risky. But, I tend to stay to long on the foot of mastery (comfort)...
The SAD (standard american diet) is comfortable... but yet very uncomfortable now that I think about it. :)

BODY- I am feeling really good... some weird aches in the PM yesterday ... my feet hurt (isn't that weird and then one side of my legs... really hurt). But now I feel so good. No low blood sugar this morning and that is pretty surprising. So far so good. I think I am
day 2 100%!!! When I say I think it is because I am not fully educated yet.

MIND-
I can not wait to get my cookbooks and other books in. But, I am actually glad I do not have them right now because I am content and about the time I get frustrated, I will have some inspiration. I am feeling a little ignorant, but it is nice too to be creative and experiment.

Books I ordered:
Sundood Cusine
Complete book of Raw Foods
Raw Reform

FOOD-coming alive
For Lunch I had a beautiful salad with strawberries, cucumbers, avocados and greens and tried a dressing recipe that had oranges juiced, really good! I wasn't even hungry going into lunch... I really am so surprised. I think because I did not let myself eat fruit for so long it feels so decadent... The avocados and strawberries... they are very indulgent foods. It is exciting going shopping because of all the things to try... I got a pomegranate and a persimmon when I went. Hey, I got a young coconut from HEB hoping that it has thick skin and is OK. They were so cheap. What about melons, I think I remember reading that melons are esp bad non organic because of their water content? I know they are going out of season, so they are shipped, etc, etc.. I just really wanted some melon to aid this first stage.

DAY ONE RAW
Monday
10-23-06
272 lbs

DAY ONE of a lifestyle change for me. I do not know exactly where it will lead me. I just know how I am starting and that I will try to listen to God and my body from there.

Today, so far has been 100% raw and I am feeling good. I told myself that I would do one day 100%, then do the rest of the week at maybe 60%- 70%. But, considering how well it went I might go again tomorrow, but I am not through the day yet.

I woke up and had a avocado / banana smoothie w/ extra green super-food added... Then I went grocery shopping. I warned my family and I prepared for the last couple of weeks researching and buying some books and making lists for groceries, etc... I knew after the retreat would be the perfect time to try it.

The experiment is ... can I keep my blood sugar stable with healthy fats and raw foods? I think the key is going to be grazing and always having some healthy fats with everything I take in. Like I knew I could not have a smoothie or juice for breakfast, but now I see if I add an avocado or coconut oil or almond butter to the smoothie it might just work. As long as I have a small snack a few hours later as my blood sugar dips down. So far today it is working and I am actually pretty surprised. I got to the store a little late so the smoothie had to last me longer than I planned. I ate a handful of cashews on the way home from the store and ate a late lunch with no real problems. I had a bit of a headache earlier this morning and a little bit of one now, but it goes away if I drink some water.

I ordered a dehydrator, and I ordered several books, one of which is a book called Raw reform here is the web sight http://www.rawreform.com./ the author lost a lot of weight and has the pics to prove it... But also she had some of my health problems namely a slow thyroid function. So, that is very exciting. I can't wait to get the book and read it, I am sure I will be inspired.

BODY- Let's go through the list ... Heart Disease, Diabetes, Thyroid problems, Syndrome X, morbid obesity (there I said it)... all killers!
Very scary for me, I am desperate to turn my health around... I can complain or make excuses about my weight, but the truth is for whatever reason... I am predisposed to having a tiny body that is not designed to hold this much weight (IE health problems) yet responds to the SAD diet with steady weight gain.

SOUL- My worst habit is convenience. I am so bad about stopping to pick up something that I would never buy at the store and bring in my house. It is bad for my budget and bad for my health. And the last few months I have been doing way to much of it. Resulting in maybe not that much weight gain but me feeling horrible! Worse I use Vyk as an excuse.. He will bring home bad food, like Ice Cream if I ask or if I do not ask. So even though ice cream is never something I purchase when I grocery shop, it manages to be something that I eat. This is just an example.

MIND- listless like my skin and body... slow...uncentered.
The pic above says it all... I look tired don't I... I have aged the past few years so much and even though I have always been heavy, I have really looked more and more unhealthy. My skin is inflamed, and that means a lot of my body is inflamed and that is really no good for your heart. This is serious business.

SPIRIT- I am feeling renewed spiritually after the Women of Ecclesia Retreat. I am also at high point as far as listening and being obedient to God. He has shown me so many things and as I am obedient, He is overwhelming me with His generosity. I know this area will be the same as I release it to God and obey where He leads.
As I said, my plan is to listen to God as I go and listen to my body.

Here goes the journey!