Day 37
Raw











Well, emotional setback number one... not for my life, just for this particular journey. OR IS IT an emotional set back? ...



Sunday I had a pretty traumatic family day. Ending in a lot of hurt for my family and I to deal with. It has taken me this many days to post out of grief and really just the need to focus on the situation and the emotional upheaval. However, I have managed to stay pretty raw through all of this... letter to friends...


Incredibly, and really as a very very good sign that I have have undergone some major change... I am still eating RAW foods... most days like 80% still! I think I may have even lost some more weight. That is just amazing.

Ladies, this is really incredible... How easy would it have been to just use the
stress as an excuse to eat?
There were a couple times where I just felt like
eating junk...because I felt like I needed comfort, ya know? But I would ask my
self what would be more comfort, a green smoothie that would give me energy and
mental clarity when I needed it most or food that would drop me and leave me
lower than before emotionally and physically.
After the dust settled and the
whirlwind of emotions started to ease... I was left with an overwhelming
stubbornness to not loose any ground. I have come to far, I have learned to
much, I am not the same person, I am not giving up or giving in, I am not
hibernating... And the main difference is my strength is in God... so it can
withstand the attacks from the enemy on my family! Gosh, this is just not like
me... it is me only in and through God. My old patterns, on my own strength
would have been too hard to fall back into. I have resolved to stay the coarse
(did I just say that, OK no Iraq war reference) and the raw food is just a sign
of that change. What is beautiful is I was able to talk to my husband and really
get through to him without making him feel worse about himself, but not excusing
his actions either. To not let my own emotions and anger cloud what I needed to
say or make me use painful or guilt tactics. I am so proud of myself, in the
middle of all of this chaos... God just held me here and I do not feel like I
have lost any ground in my emotional healing and spiritual growth.

... This pretty much brings us up to date. I am hanging in there. I actually as of today, am feeling this weird sensation that God has even orchestrated these events... Which sounds strange to say. And that maybe even the raw foods either were a catalyst or this was given to me to help me heal really deeply. I know it sounds kind of crazy, but it is true. Think about it... Either 1.) The raw foods is bringing healing to the surface, and in that healing God is going in deep and pulling out and up the deep roots that would have stayed there if not for crisis. OR 2.) God gave me the raw foods (which is really just a sign of spiritual and emotional healing in me- oh and physical) when I would need them so that He could pull up and out the deep roots and heal me. Really, heal my entire family!

Week 5, still 80 % Raw
And I actually lost a lb in the crisis and over Thanksgiving. Miraculous!